Adventure Day One

June 13, 2008 - What Do You Remember from the Call the Weekend of October 11, 2002.  We received an email from Rickey’s brother, Jan, he writes: 

 

I don’t remember the phone call that announced the illness but I recall my approach to life was not focused on family then. I had little contact with my youngest brother at that time. Like many grown siblings I was in my own world that centered on my work and, of all things, singing in a choir that rehearsed every Sunday night. (A choir that was my refuge.) I do remember someone, probably our sister, Jill, saying Rickey was very disappointed that there wasn’t much response from Houma. I remember not responding initially as I felt my response was not important to him. I decided it was time for me to be big brother once again.

 

I phoned and discovered Rickey needed a “sitter”, just like when we were kids. I volunteered to visit him at his home in Maryland from Louisiana in early December when PJ had to take a business trip. Then during the visit I realized Rickey was in real trouble and was frightened.

 

Given the opportunity to be one-on-one with my “Little” brother we connected once again. I think it was about 10 days I spent with him, and although PJ returned from her trip and her parents were staying at the house to help, Rickey needed a brother and that was me. Poor fella, I bet he forgot how silly I could be…even in the face of his pain and fear. (I used to take advantage of that when we were youngsters. Now it hurt to see him that way.) What a time together. I remember, among other things, laughing! Not every minute of everyday, but if the moment called for it we cut-up, and giggled, even gave in to bellyaching brother-to-brother laughter. We caught up in many ways through 30 years of brotherly absence. We were family, connected once again. It was most unexpected and so right. The time was fun and serious all at once.

 

Family never really just goes away…sometimes we are not connected for a while. We grieve its lost when it’s around a corner peeking at us. We wonder about what we ever saw in the “freedom” of its absence. Yet it is never really gone. A family is always there hiding in dreams, hopes, fears, and loneliness…and laughter.  The loneliness proves it…because it’s presence we miss. The laughter is the glue, aglow!

 

That’s what I remember, that’s what I went through, and that’s what I know.  I’ve discovered through time that my family, my brother, siblings, children, former spouse, friends, even deceased, are never very far away. Even co-workers can become family, guarded that it may be. One makes the rules that work for the definition of the word family. You know? There’s always the real one, and the adopted ones and the extended ones. But, real family remains like the memory of stars to be revisited, as needed, on perfect nights with clear skies, sometimes at one’s leisure, sometimes in one’s pain, most always to one’s joy. Like a star-lit sky, real family is always around …even when they’re not.

Always, Brother Jan

 

Until our next blog – remember life is an adventure, embrace the journey.  You can make a difference one day at a time. 

 

Share your adventure with us!

Filed under: General by admin